TMNT:: One Small Turtle: Helping Mikey

A/N: I am giving you a warning there is talk/action of suicide in this fic. (this is my AU fic)



It has been one year to the day that Splinter died. All week Mikey had kept himself locked up in his room leaving his brothers concerned. They knew Mikey had attempted suicide before they were afraid it would happen again.

Mikey looked around his room holding the kunai in his hand. “Father should be alive, not me,” Mikey said drawing a line across his wrist and watching the blood drip down. “I should have died the day the Kraang left me,” Mikey drew another line across his wrist, “I should have died that day on the room with Raph,” again he drew a line, “I should have died that time I was six on the walk with sensei,” he drew two line, he used his father’s name, “I should have died when Karai poisoned me,” Mikey drew another line, “why am I even alive?” He laid flat on his plastron and slipped under his bed, where he had a long box hidden, tapped to the back wall. He placed the thin box on his bed and pulled out the long knife. With his right hand he knocked on his plastron and then he touched the sharp tip, it would work-- seppuku. Mikey started to breathe heavily. His world was growing black, he dropped the unused knife to the ground. Mikey took a step back, but he tripped over the box and his head hit the conner of his bedside table. Seizing, Mikey fell to the ground.

Leo was deep in meditation, trying to connect with his father in hope he could help him with Mikey, but his thoughts were cut short with a loud crashing sound coming from Mikey’s room.

Raph was sitting trying to read a comic, he too was trying to think of a way to help Mikey, but was lost for an idea. He hatted seeing is happy brother depressed. Raph too was jerked from his thoughts at the the sounds the came from Mikey’s room.

Donnie was in his lab looking blankly at his computer that was filled with pictures of Mikey from when he was baby, how Donnie wish he could get back his smiling happy brother. Just as Donnie to got a picture of the family he heard a loud crash from Mikey’s room.

All the brothers reached the door at the same time, “open the door Mikey,” Leo said finding it locked. No answer. Raph wasted no time forcing the door open with his brute strength. When the stepped in the saw Mikey laying on the ground covered in blood.

“MIKEY!” Donnie cried running to his brother’s side. He looked over his brother’s body, he only saw the only deliberate cuts were on his wrist, the cut on his head appeared accidental. Mikey did not answer.

Leo took his mask off and held it to the gash on Mikey’s head while Raph wrapped his around Mikey’s wrist. Donnie lifted Mikey up and placed him on his bed while Leo removed the weapons and Raph went to get Donnie’s medical bag. When Leo came back he had bowl of clean water and old rag, the two brothers began to clean Mikey’s injuries.  

“He will need stitches on the back of his head,” Donnie said, “only three or four,” already threading the needle.

Before Donnie could start stitching the injury Mikey’s body went limp.
----
Mikey opened his eyes to see Splinter standing before him. He did it, he killed himself!

“You are not dead if that is what you are thinking, Michelangelo,” Splinter said.

Mikey sighed and hung his head, “I wish I was.”

“And you were would that bring me back?” Splinter asked.

“No sensei,” Mikey said.

“If you were meant to have died you would have died by now. Something stopped you from dying each time.”

Mikey sighed and rubbed his right wrist, “I still feel worthless.”

“Michelangelo, I would not have saved you if you were worthless,” Splinter looked to Mikey he held up his arm, “come walk with me,” Splinter said and Mikey took his father’s arm to walk. “You gave grown taller,” he said. Mikey gave a weak smile. “I have missed that smile.”

Mikey felt his cheeks heat up, “t-thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Splinter said, “now tell me Leonardo is a good instructor?”

“He is, not a good as you, but he a great teacher, Raph too, and Donnie is really helping me with my school work.”

“That is good to hear,” Splinter said, “you are becoming a fine ninja.”

“I miss you sensei,” Mikey said.

“I miss you too,” Splinter said, “and your brothers as well,” Splinter smiled, “but I can only be here for a short while longer.”

“I don’t want you to go!” Mikey begged.

“I must send you back to your brothers, they are growing worried.” Splinter stopped and turned to face Mikey. He placed a hand on his son’s cheek, “you are going to do great things Michelangelo. You are going to rise above, and become great. You are needed in the world more than you know.” Mikey cried into Splinter’s chest. “Michelangelo I want you to look at me,” Splinter said holding Mikey’s chin. “Our lives changed for the best when you came into out family, we needed you, your brothers needed you. I cannot tell you how much you mean to this family, and if you were to die before you time the family will fall apart.”

“I-I can’t mean t-that much,” Mikey mumbled.

“But you do,” Splinter said soothingly. “I have to go now, I love you Michelangelo.”

“Daddy don’t go!
----
Donnie straddled over Mikey doing chest compressions on is youngest brother trying to get him breathing again. “Mikey...please....breathe...” Donnie cried.

“Don,” Leo said gravely.

“No..no! Not Mikey!”

“Don, we---” Raph started

“Have to let go?” Donnie snapped, “No! I am not losing Mikey!” With out realizing he brought his fist down on Mikey’s chest. Mikey coughed and his body jerked. “MIKEY!” Donnie yelled pulling his brother close to him crying. “Don’t scare us like that!”

Weakly Mikey raised his eyes to his brother, “s-sorry...”

“Mikey please,” Donnie begged, “don’t kill yourself.”

“I-I feel worthless...and I don’t know why I feel that way....”

“Mikey please, talk to us, we can try to get you the help you need,” Raph said.

“If you want to talk to human doctor...we can make that happen...” Leo said.

Mikey breathed in and out, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Mikey mumbled.

“Mikey there is nothing wrong with you,” Donnie said, “you just have been threw a lot in your life. Sensei dying, getting hurt and sick, and then there was your short time with the Kraang,”

“Mikey remember we are always here for you. No matter how low you may feel. Remember we were your age once, I know you have gone through more than we did--”

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” Mikey said trying to stand up, “or not,” he mumbled as he crumpled into Leo’s arms.

“Must still be a little dizzy,” Leo said leading him over to his bed.

“I-I don’t want to be alone,” Mikey whispered.

“Who said we are leaving you Little Ninja?” Raph said using Mikey nickname from when he was much younger.

“I know I did not plan on leaving,” Leo said sitting down beside Mikey.

“You know I would not leave you,” Donnie said.
----
Mikey laid down to sleep. Raph brought Angel over and placed her on Mikey’s plastron, put a protective hand on her carapace and drifted off to sleep.

Leo slipped out of the room now that Mikey was sleeping so he could clean the room of the blood better.
-----
It had been one week since Mikey’s most recent suicide attempt. Donnie was sitting in April and Casey’s apartment, he needed to talk to her, find away to get Mikey help.

“We tried last year, and we need more help. I’m afraid Mikey will really kill himself one day. Is there any way we get a doctor to talk to him? I know we can’t do face to face,” Donnie sighed, “Dr. Lawrence...maybe he can help?”

April reached and placed her hand on Donnie’s shoulder, “Dr. Lawrence is not that kind of doctor.”

“I know, maybe he knows someone....” Donnie said, “and he can talk to Mikey on the phone.”

“Donnie that is a stretch.”

“I see him once a year,” Donnie sighed, “he’s done so much for me already. I can’t ask him for more.”  

“Let me see what I can do,” April said.
-----
The four turtles were sitting at the kitchen table. Mikey sighed as he took a sip of his tea

“It’s just a feel so alone,” Mikey admitted, “I don’t have anyone.”

“Mikey, you have us, we are your brothers. April, Casey, even Irma--” Leo tried to talk to Mikey but he cut him off.

“I know we are brothers, and that I-we have April, Irma, and Casey, but” Mikey sighed, “I don’t have anyone my own age,” and with that Mikey stood up and walked away.

Once Donnie hear Mikey’s door slam shut he looked to Leo, “Maybe we could find him someone...” Donnie trailed, “I mean April, Casey, and Irma except us.”

“Don’t forget the doctor who saved yer shell,” Raph added in.

Leo sighed, “I don’t know Don, we meet April because we were saving her, and she introduced us to Casey and Irma.”

“What do you want us to do Don? walk around the high school saying ‘you wanna be friends with a mutant turtle?’ Ya know people already think we are freaks.”

“I know,” Donnie said, “but there has to be something we can do!”

“Raph has a point,” Leo said, “I mean I know he needs someone, but how? We can’t have anyone who will be scared of him or will hurt him.”

“Maybe April knows someone who is interested. I know she does not hand out with high school kids, but still it worth a shot.”

“That puts a lot of pressure on April,” Leo said.

“We can ask Casey too,” Donnie said, “he works with foster kids. I bet there are a lot lonely depressed Emo kids who need a friend.”

Leo let out a dark laugh, “so they can share cutting secrets?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Donnie said, “Mikey’s over that....I hope,” he sighed, “it’s just...I feel like if we don’t help him find someone.....he’s going to end up finding someone on his own. Someone who might not be a good friend.”

“I want to meet this person before we introduce them to Mikey,” Leo said.

“Of course! Mikey won’t even have to know about until we give it the all clear!” Donnie said.

“Oh excluding him help,” Raph said sarcastically.

Leo sighed, “I have to agree with Raph, what if he thinks we are betraying him?”

“I wouldn’t want to get his hopes up if we can’t find anyone....”

“I don’t know anymore Don,” Leo sighed, “I just don’t like seeing him depressed.”

“I know....me either. I think if we found him someone his own age, it would take his mind off things. Someone he can hang out with, do things he can’t do with us.” Donnie said.

“Someone who does not know the punch line to all his jokes,” Raph added in.

Donnie smiled, “It’ll be good for him, Leo. We just have to find the right person.”

“Talk to Casey and April, quietly, only at their place.”

“Right,” Donnie said nodding, “I will go call Casey and April. Thanks Leo!”

Leo gave a half smiled, “I hope so. I don’t know what to do anymore,” he sighed, “I am going to meditate, see if I can contact father.”
----
Leo lit candles and incense in the darkened dojo. He knelt down on the blue mat. He took deep calming breaths and allowed his mind to go free. “Father,” he called out quietly, “please guide me. I wish to help Michelangelo, but I do not know how.”

When Leo opened his eyes he was on the spiritual plain. He looked around. “Father?” he called.
----
Donnie called Casey’s cell phone, “Hey Casey,” he said.

“Hey Don what’s up?” Casey asked.

“We need to find Mikey a friend his own age,” Donnie said.

“You wanna hook him up with someone?” Casey

“No, you idiot,” Donnie said, “he’s lonely and have never had anyone who he can really hang out with.” Donnie said, “we were hoping you might know someone at the Youth Clinic who would be  a good friend for Mikey....I know it’s stretch...but the kid needs someone.”

There was a long pause on the other end. “I think I know the right girl. If Mikey was a girl he would be here, only a turtle...and a boy...well you know what I mean.”

“You think she would be okay with Mikey?” Donnie asked.

“Yeah I do. Here parents were killed by the Kraang a few years ago and her brothers went missing.:

“What’s her name so I can look her up,” Donnie said.

“Kala Neutrino,” Casey said, “I will talk to her tomorrow.”

“Thanks Case,” Donnie said hanging up, “....Kala...” Donnie said, “please I hope you can help Mikey.”